A Queen Of Hearts' Torn Heart
by poohxebony
Summary: Both played a special role in her life. But only one of them she wishes to spend eternity with. Will they ever return to her? Which will she choose? Who does she truly loves? AbelxEstherxIon .


**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Here's my first Trinity Blood fanfic. I've thought I would something different again for the time being. As much as I've been a fan of the AbelxEsther pairing, I also found the IonxEsther pairing sweet as well. Although personally, I think Ion and Esther have a better chance of getting together than with Abel, even though she might love her more than Ion. The anime and manga series never showed much of Abel's romantic feelings towards her, whereas Ion had a real crush on her first. Hope you enjoy.

**DISCLAIMER: **The characters and properties of Trinity Blood don't belong to me, only to Funimation Studios and to the creator Sunao Yoshida. May his good soul rest in peace. T_T

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The cool night air gently blew past a red-haired woman's fair skin as she stood outside in her enormous, majestic balcony. She gazed long and hard at the stars, admiring the beautiful scenery of the glowing full moon and diamond sky. Although truthfully, it wasn't exactly the stars she was setting her mind on.

She sighed and turned her head to face the faraway background of the huge black forest behind her castle. Everything of course seemed impossible to make out because of the darkness, except the trees' shadowy shapes and forms. She then walked to the edge of the balcony to have a better view of the extravagant colored garden below. Once again, it was a peaceful night for her and her people to sleep through. The only noises that interrupted her train of thoughts came from the royal grounds keepers, non-stopping and professionally catering the gorgeous plants and flowers. Several royal guards were out and about as well, patrolling around the territory cautiously. Overall, this ordinary moment was just another regular routine she's learned to adapt for some time now.

It's been five eventful years since the former nun, Esther Blanchett, was crowned Queen of Albion at the age of fifteen. Now almost twenty-one, she definitely underwent a few transformations physically, mentally, and spiritually. Her teenage petite body fully blossomed into the form of a real woman, giving her a curvier and attractive appearance. The red hair finally grew down to her waist, shining more radiantly as it softly flows when she walks. Even those deep sapphire eyes show a hint of maturity and new wisdom. They were no longer huge, googly orbs filled with innocence, in expertise, and curiosity about life. They were slender, given to her older age, and helped her view the beautiful, yet suffering side of the world more clearly.

But it was her way of faith that helped Esther evolved most of all. Over these past five years, it made her heart grow stronger in order to be the iron maiden that she was now. Once she found out her true identity, she had to keep her spiritually alive, fighting every vulnerably for standing instead of crumbling. More importantly, she kept her faith by trusting the faith from her loved ones. Without them, she knew for a fact that she wouldn't accomplish half of her duties. As the new queen, Esther kept her vow to shape up her newfound land, her actual birth origin. The people of Albion, Terran and Methuselah, witnessed their new leader's strength and beautiful soul and shortly fell in love with her. They now put trust and support to their beloved queen, for she treated everyone not as mere subjects but as equal with needs and feelings. She put every effort in teaching them to live and love together without fear, uniting them for peace, and establishing new treaties to help them build better lifestyles. In time, Albion became a renewed, brighter world for the future, thanks to its 'Queen of Hearts'.

Friends and allies support Esther's work as well, guiding and praising over her good intentions and achievements. Oh how blessed she feels to have a close relationship with the Vatican and the New Human Empire. In between the years, she missed her old life as a simple nun every now and then. She remembers enjoying serving the AX as a warrior in training, protecting the innocent from evil. She remembers the members' friendship, making her feel welcomed and accepting her for who she was. Esther especially remembers the adventures in her first visit to the Empire, having to meet Empress Augusta (a.k.a. the little cute tea girl, Seth).

She sighed again. No matter how long it's been, she sometimes can't believe she was born into this luxurious life. She always thought of herself as a normal fifteen year old nun that was raised to do God's bidding and help the needy. Who would have known that a mere human girl like her was meant to become this powerful leader? Who would have believed her to be a part of the royal Albionian family history? Even the fact that she could call this castle her home gave her shivers in the beginning. Despite her new life within these walls, she'll remain the individual that she have been all her life. Not a single day has pass that she have forgotten her old life with family and friends.

But there's also not a single day--or night--she have forgotten about those two.

A young, yet courageous boy with eyes of rubies. An absent-minded, yet wonderful priest with eyes of a lake in wintertime, and long angelic silver hair. A twisted feeling suddenly erupted in her chest at the thought of those two. It's always like this. As much as Esther tries to see through the pain, it still lingers in the back of her subconscious mind. The contorting emotions brings her to the state of beautiful and terrible memories about them. Oh how she remembers as if she met each of them yesterday.

Starting with the so-called-absent-minded-wonderful priest. It truly appeared that way when they first met in Istvan. _Extremely_ absent-minded yes, considering it always took thirteen cups of sugar in tea to feed a broke, starving klutz such as he. She chuckled to herself on the thought. No other person could break that record. But he showed he was wonderful in more ways than one. He was the one who saved her from sin and temptation of revenge for her adopted mother, Bishop Vitez. He was the one who gave her smiles of forgiveness and encouragement over her errors. He was the one that helped her see the difference between friend and foe, undergoing the shock of Dietrich's betrayal for his own sadistic purposes. Not to mention the numerous times he saved her from near-death experiences. All of his reasons for being there came down to when he said those words that changed their relationship forever. "I am on your side", he once said. Esther closed her eyes to savor that sentence, feeling as if he's saying it next to her right now.

But there was one more person she couldn't seem to forget either, for he eventually played a…special role in her life. Talk about opposites attract from both worlds. And they truly did came from both worlds. It definitely wasn't love at first sight for the two, more like natural enemies at first sight. It was during the time when Esther was still in training at the AX, and holding a minor grudge against his kind. But as they faced each other, she couldn't get pass his er,--feminine handsome features. It was…quite an impressive sight. She didn't know if he felt the same way about her presence. But it was his eyes that captivated her the most. Esther never seen such sparkling crimson irises from a Methuselah, yet alone from a slender, muscular young boy.

And working together as a team was not a doolsy for them either in the beginning. Especially when it came to dealing with a short-tempered, naïve vampire. But she soon developed sympathy for him, since he had undergone similar painful experiences as she did when they first visited the Vatican for Lady Caterina. Which includes dealing with the lost and betrayal of his own trusted partner, or whether 'tovarish' as they call it in the Empire. She've learned to see past her own feelings and reached out to him, give him comfort over his despair. She showed he can put a new type of trust and companionship in her, making him see how 'unusual and unique' she was as a terran but in a new beautiful way. Little did Esther knew that something else happened as she continued her growing friendship with him. And there was no doubt that he recognized his infatuation with her at the same time.

Because of their growing bond, they was able to experience sweet moments in the Empire together. But they also experienced bad ones that led them to question their trust in each other again. When he mistakenly believed Esther only wanted to have the Empress murdered in her favor of revenge against all Methuselah, she felt broken at the fact that he thought nothing more of her but a traitor. What she didn't know at the time, was that he felt just as broken and confused about her as well. But through the grace of her kindness and strong determination, she stood by his side through both of their mistakes and proved her loyalties to him. In return, he officially made her his true tovarish; only it was more deeper than natural feelings. What's even amazing-and confusing-is that Esther still remembers his final words as they departed back to Rome. "We will see each other again. Next time…without fail", he said as he embraced her with a farewell hug.

During five years, she finds herself thinking about their last encounter daily. A part of her knew she had to return to Rome with the Father, whereas the other part made her feel as if…as if she didn't want to leave his side. Something about their last hug was warm and tender, making both of them feel that they were whole. Because of the limited times they spent together, her hatred for Methuselah eventually died out, for she came to understand that Terran and Methuselah were 'human' after all. She was so blinded that it took her long to see that not all Methuselah were exactly the same. And he was no exception. Because of his friendship, she grew to truly love them as well as her own kind. Is that why she can't find herself to forget about him? Why his angelic face remains in her head, just like Father's does? Perhaps this explains why she still wonder how they young boy--or, _man_ now since he's obviously grew up himself; they were about the same age--has been doing. What does this all mean though?

While growing up, Esther noticed that her emotions towards both men are the same. Honestly, it was starting to scare her. She was supposed to be betrothed to a suitable noble or duke for the sake of the throne a long time ago, even when she turned eighteen. Instead, she kindly rejected all proposals who tried winning her and taking their place as king. It's as if she's pushing everyone away because she's waiting for something. But what? Or in this case, _who? _As much as she tries to find the right answers, the memories that she seeks into only build more confusing questions. Why couldn't this be simple? Surely, she knows she doesn't want both of them to be in danger. She already dealt with such tragic experiences with them in the past. She'll never forget the pain and heartache she endured.

The time when the red-eyed prince was in a state of lunacy of thirst for her blood, she gave in in order to save his sanity, to end his mental and emotional suffering. He may have seen frightening, but she showed no fear, only reassurance. But what made her into a state of emptiness was the death of the Father. On that day, when she witness the 'white demon' (Cain) using the last strike on her precious priest, her entire world collapsed. She remembers her depressive state of grief, wanting time to stop as she laid by the coffin surrounded by a pool of elegant rose petals. She had lost all faith and hope, degrading herself as a weak, helplessly foolish girl and nothing more. She felt disgraced on how she was never able to repay the times he saved her life. What was left for her was the frightening truth of knowing that he was misplaced. And yet…by one last sheer miracle, he was resurrected again, appearing as the form of a powerful, black winged angel. Even in death, he was able to save her once more from that sadistic monster. As both demons fought in the sky above the clouds that night, Esther finally realized Father began his never-ending journey from there, for he would fight to the ends of the earth to stop his sadistic brother.

"Will I ever see them again?", she whispered to herself as she stared up at the moon, clenching her light blue silk nightgown tighter from the breeze of the cool wind. Is that what's making her wait like this this whole time? But who is she waiting for specifically? Even if she knew the answer, will both--or one of them--want to return to her? Have they changed their feelings about her over the years? What if they never felt that way about her in the first place? Does this mean she should stop searching and waiting? And why does she feels this concern toward both men? It should only be one or the other and that's it. So why it's not that way? What does this all mean?!

Could this mean that she have fallen in love….with _both of them? _Oh dear Lord……..

A tear suddenly shed down her cheek. This was all too much to bear. Nothing could make her heart feel more torn than it already is. She felt lost and disgusted with herself now. It was plainly selfish of her to feel this way, it was a sin. But it was true. She can't deny it anymore. She has grown to fall in love with both of them. That is why she stands in her balcony ever night, searching for some kind of sign for their return. That is why she hides an inner hole behind the false smiles as a presentable queen. She knows to never expose such weakness to the people and for the sake of Albion. But behind closed doors, what is suppose to be her safe heaven, she battles with her personal demons underneath the covers. Maybe now she understands why she worries everyday for their safe return. She waits for their quest to end together, to put an end to the evil Cain and save the world from his devilment. And to come back alive and one piece, for she held a special place in her heart for them.

_Abel……Ion……_

Esther got down on both knees, put her hands together on her chest, and prayed. She prayed to God for her deceased loved ones, for the ones that were with her now, for the many innocent children to be taken with care, for many people without food, shelter, clothing, or a family to find happiness, for world peace and the strength to help her continue protecting those who are important to her.

But most of all, she prayed to the Lord to guide her heart on the right path, to answer her prayers, and let her be reunited to the one who is meant to be her soul mate for eternity. She concluded that she is not wasting her time of waiting for them. She will continue to wait, even until the end of days. And hopefully, she would finally know the answer to who she truly loves by then. "Amen", she finished quietly. She stood up, looked at the stars a final time, and headed back to her bedroom to sleep the pain away for another tomorrow.

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**END NOTE: **Well, I hope you enjoyed it. I personally hope Esther find the love of her life that is meant to be. Thanks for your time, and please review and comment now. Ja ne! ;)


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